Chair Sadness

I spent a grand total of $20 on my desk chair. I should have saved that $20 and put it towards a chair that cost maybe $50-$60 maybe? Now all I can think when I sit/look at that chair is that I wasted $20. I’ve blown $20 more times than I care to remember in my life but I am usually not reminded daily of that failure as this chair now does.

I can tolerate failure in my life, hell it’s happened a bunch. What I cannot tolerate is being reminded of it. I think most people are like that. It’s not the failure that gets to them, it’s being reminded of that failure that’s the hard part to deal with. That’s probably why most relationship advisors tell you to get rid of everything that reminds you of your ex. In theory it’s great advice, but in practice it is pretty hard. I, for example, have a couch and chair from my ex. Does this mean I am going to get rid of a perfectly good couch and chair when there are standing kids in Africa who would be happy to have those? Absolutely not. Do they remind me of her? Sometimes. I am going to get rid of them? No.

Another failure in my life is my Itunes library. No, the music is grand and I love it all, that’s why it’s there. The failure lies in the organization. Having been carried over from 3+ computers at this point, the library has it’s share of duplicates and missing files. I have been trying to edit them out and I know there are handy features to assist in this tedious task but I cannot seem to do it for more than a few minutes before I lose interest and something else like write, or read a book. I am doing both right now, well sort of. I was reading a magazine actually, Snowboarder.

There’s something about the “we don’t give a fuck what we print so long as its true to our sport” attitude the magazine has always presented that I have enjoyed. Snowboarding has always been more than a sport to me. I’ve said it and I’ll say it again, it’s a culture. Some people are lucky enough to live that life every single day and I am happy to have even lived it for just a year. A major facet of snowboarding is learning to love the environment around you and appreciating everything nature gives you. You take the snow when its heavy, wet, or scare for the days its dry and plentiful. You cannot have the good without the bad, so you better learn to love the bad as much as the good because sometimes it’s all you have.

Allow me to get deep for a second: I had a realization tonight as I was reading the section in Snowboarder entitled “On Deck”. Basically, On Deck is a feature where the magazine puts the spotlight on up and coming snowboarders breaking into the professional realm for the first time. I was reading one of the columns when I realized that all these riders had something in common: Overwhelming optimism. It’s not their youth or their good fortune, it’s just the way they see life. They don’t hate and they don’t judge, their concerns lie elsewhere. I realized that I spend too much time on the latter. I need to occupy my time and faculties to looking towards the future and not commenting on the present.

That being said I really hope there are more treats at healthcare tomorrow. Just because I am going to subscribe to overt positivism doesn’t mean I cannot take joy in an interesting oddity of corporate office culture.

I just realized I wrote this entire thing MS Works Word processor. Gross.